Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Don't Worry

Another one about Rachel and I.

We met in Wellington when I had travelled there to play in a 7s tournament, with my team from Invercargill, which is at the bottom of the south island of New Zealand, so for the first year of our relationship, we were in a long distance, north island- south island relationship.

It was hard only seeing each other every few weeks, but we managed. At the end of my first year, I was going back to London for 6 weeks to spend Christmas with my family. She knew that my parents weren't approving of our relationship, and she was worried that I might not come back.

I asked her if she thought I'd start seeing someone else while I was away. "No- I don't doubt you at all. I've never met anyone like you." She said.

I'm very emotionally transparent- I'm easy to read. It was pleasing to know that she trusted me to that degree, as it's difficult to verbally express to someone that you are that trustworthy without giving the impression that you are exactly the opposite.

"Don't worry." I told her. And I came back.

The song (rough draft): https://youtu.be/BsmnKf0wESA

The lyrics:

Don't Worry Lyrics

You're an island away, you hear my voice every day
I know it's not quite the same, but there is no-one to blame
And now, I'm gonna be gone, you are still number one
And now that I've go to fly, there's no-one else on my mind.

It's not hard to see, you know I'm easy to read
Don't worry, don't worry.
You're never alone, I'm at the end of the phone
Don't worry, don't worry.

It's always gonna be hard, we're normally far apart
But we know we pass the test, we're better than all the rest
Next year is gonna be better, we'll be living together
No more heavy goodbyes, no more wondering why.

I… do…
Hope… you….
Know…. that….
I'm coming back.

It's not hard to see, you know I'm easy to read
Don't worry, don't worry.
You're never alone, I'm at the end of the phone
Don't worry, don't worry.

It's not hard to see, you know I'm easy to read
Don't worry, don't worry.
You're never alone, I'm at the end of the phone
Don't worry, don't worry.

It's not hard to see, you know I'm easy to read
Don't worry, don't worry.
Don't ever be sad, you know I'm coming back

Don't worry, don't worry.

This Game

On a microscopic level, this song is about being in charge of the emergency department during phenomenally busy shift, and feeling like it's all getting out of control. You will have to hand over the department to your boss when they come in for the afternoon shift, and you're not quite sure how to explain the situation to them without appearing inadequate.

On a macroscopic level, it's about the game of keeping up appearances within the profession of emergency medicine. What constitutes being part of 'the club' and what does not. It's a long and involved story. I'll write more on it later.

The song (rough draft): https://youtu.be/3cXMEvQ7qoE

The lyrics: http://victor-thediary.blogspot.com.au/2015/09/this-game-lyrics.html

This Game Lyrics

To-day
You look right ahead, but you feel like it's running away
I .. do…
believe how you feel, 'cause I've been caught in that day, too.

This game they play can't be won by two
What you gonna say, now, what you gonna do?
They're all here and they're lookin' at you
What you gonna say, now, what you gonna do?

This… game
You just have to play, 'cause it's part of your life all the same.
This… fear
Not of who you are, but of how you are made to appear.

This game they play can't be won by two
What you gonna say, now, what you gonna do?
They're all here and they're lookin' at you
What you gonna say, now, what you gonna do?

This game they play can't be won by two
What you gonna say, now, what you gonna do?
They're all here and they're lookin' at you
What you gonna say, now, what you gonna do?

Solo

This game they play can't be won by two
What you gonna say, now, what you gonna do?
They're all here and they're lookin' at you
What you gonna say, now, what you gonna do?

This game they play can't be won by two
What you gonna say, now, what you gonna do?
They're all here and they're lookin' at you

What you gonna say, now, what you gonna do?

The Time Is Now

This one is about my struggle after transferring to a trauma hospital. It was quite a challenge, and I've actually already written about it in my diary entry called 'Hard Work'. Just when I appeared to have steadied the ship, it all started unravelling again when I lost Johanna, and I was fatiguing really badly from all the studying I was pushing myself to do.

It didn't work out there in the end, and although they wanted me to stay, I was much happier leaving and starting afresh somewhere new. It was the best thing for everyone.

The song (rough draft): https://youtu.be/jzdnDFpwJsI

The lyrics: http://victor-thediary.blogspot.com.au/2015/09/the-time-is-now-lyrics.html

The Time Is Now Lyrics

Ooh__ Ai___
Ooh__ Ai___

You know it's gonna be tough
But you hope that you've got enough
You'v been building all this time
To be sure that you get it right and it's now

S o you give it all you've got
You can't tell if you're right or not
And you think that you crash and burn
And you see there's so much to learn
and it's now

And the time is now

And you know that
You don't wanna go
And you know that….

And you find what you never thought was there
And you give till theres nothing left
And they say that you're someone new
But there's nothing else you could do and its now

And the time is now

You can't let it go
Cause you want it so
You won't let it go
Till you reach your goal

[instrumental]

And you find that here you are
And it's just that bridge too far
And you know you just can't stay
Live to fight another day

And you know that
you gotta go
and you know that

And the time is now

And you've gotta go
You can't' make it so
You just gotta go
You can't change it so

And you've gotta go
You can't' make it so
You just gotta go
You can't change it so


Crazy To Love

This is another one about Rachel and I.

It was often commented  how well we got on and how infrequently we had disagreements.
We were making dinner for her family at her parents place one weekend, and after a while, her Dad called into the kitchen "It's awfully quiet in there….!"
We were just getting on with it.

In comparison to most other couples, we communicated very well, and always tried to reason with each other instead of launching into conflict, but even when we did have disagreements, they were never toxic, and we'd always work it out.


The song (rough draft): https://youtu.be/VqFm1PmLr2c

The lyrics: http://victor-thediary.blogspot.com.au/2015/09/crazyto-love-lyrics.html

CrazyTo Love Lyrics

There's not many times when we don't see eye to eye but we still care 
We work it out, that's what we're all about and we're still there.

Sometimes I feel
When you're next to me that

You must be crazy to love me
I bless the day that I loved you

Remember the time when we would go for a ride just you and I
Even if we were lost you would never get cross you would just smile

You hold me and say
That it's all OK
Sometimes you think

I must be crazy to love you
You bless the day that you loved me

Sometimes I feel
When you're next to me that

You must be crazy to love me
I bless the day that I loved you

You must be crazy to love me
I bless the day that I loved you

You must be crazy to love me
I bless the day that I loved you

[You know we'll always work it out
Not like those lovers who scream and shout
They'll do what's easy and walk away

We'll stand together and be OK]

Final Goodbye

This one is about a friend of mine who sadly passed away recently.

P.J is a woman in her late 50s. She had terminal cancer, and I met her and her family at karaoke. She really loved my music and bought both of my previous 2 CDs.

I sang Elton Johns 'Your Song' for her one Friday night, and she cried. Then I cried. I nearly couldn't finish the song. We hugged and everyone was moved.

A few weeks later, she had a relapse of her cancer and came into the ED while I was on duty. I oversaw her treatment and made sure she was as comfortable as possible. I then visited her on the medical ward a few days into her admission, which she really appreciated.

I saw her daughter out at karaoke that weekend, and she thanked me for helping look after her mum, and said she would really appreciate it if I could pay their home a visit and play a song for her. I happily did so, and it was a real pleasure to meet the extended family. They all really enjoyed hearing the music live.

They all came out to karaoke that weekend and I sang some of my original songs for P.J., which again, she really enjoyed.

She appeared to be doing really well with her cancer, but without my knowing, she took a rapid turn for the worse and passed away.

I went to the funeral, where her daughter told me that she buried my CD with her mother because she loved it so much.

Bishan and I were out recently, and we bumped into her son. "You're the doctor that looked after my mother, aren't; you?" he asked. "Yes I am" I replied.
"Thank you for everything you did for her. She loved you. You're a beautiful man." He hugged me.

Again, I was moved to tears.

"That was really powerful, Victor." Bishan said. I agreed.

This song is for her. Bishan is playing the lead.

The song: (rough draft):

The lyrics: http://victor-thediary.blogspot.com.au/2015/09/final-goodbye-lyrics.html

Monday, 14 September 2015

Final Goodbye Lyrics

You came along
Then you were gone
Just glad that I
Could make you smile

Goodbye my friend 
It's not the end

but now I know
you're not in pain
Rest now in peace
In a better place

Goodbye my friend 
It's not the end
Goodbye my friend 
We'll meet again

[instrumental]

Goodbye my friend 
It's not the end
Goodbye my friend 
We'll meet again

Goodbye my friend 
It's not the end
Goodbye my friend 

We'll meet again

Fly

This song is about…. writing songs!

It's probably the strangest thing I've ever done in that everything else I've achieved in life has been the result of many hours of arduous practise, but songwriting is something I've never ever learned. It just sort of happens.

Literally at any point in time a melody can enter your mind and if you capture it (usually by humming it into your phone), you can turn it into a song.

I usually pluck out a matching baseline, put some chords to it, and then just write words telling a story in keeping with how the melody might make me feel.

I dunno. It seems to work…. :D

The song (rough draft):

The lyrics: http://victor-thediary.blogspot.com.au/2015/09/fly-lyrics.html


Fly Lyrics

You never know when it'll come
Be with anything or anyone
You never know how it'll sound
Or how long it'll stay around

You gotta keep it in your mind
Cause there's nowhere else that you might find
A melody that will grow
To a song that could move you so

Next you know
You can show

You will come to me and I 
Put it all together and I watch it fly
Sing a song for me and you
I can think of nothing else I'd rather do

Now how is this making you feel?
Cause you wanna have something real
Now think what are you trying to say?
And now how does that come into play?

Now it's all gotta start with the bass
Then the rhythm will fill in the space
And we'll throw in a beat as well
Now we have a real story to tell

Next you know
You can show

You will come to me and I 
Put it all together and I watch it fly
Sing a song for me and you
I can think of nothing else I'd rather do

You will come to me and I 
Put it all together and I watch it fly
Sing a song for me and you

I can think of nothing else I'd rather do