Sunday, 12 January 2014

Gonna Be There



March 2011. It was  Friday night. I was on my way to see my friend Sani DJ at the Ivy Pool Bar, which she does every weekend. However, I missed the ferry from Manly to the city, so I had 45mins to wait until the next one. I wondered what to do in the meantime, and decided to wait in the Manly Wharf Bar, as they normally have some sport playing on the TV.

I had broken up with Rachel about 6 weeks before, and was just starting to feel human again. I genuinely didn't mind being in a bar by myself watching the rugby. At the bar on my left, there was a group of 3 girls, one of whom clearly had a lot of energy, and was dancing in a very exuberant fashion. It was almost cheesy, but that's part of what made it fun to watch. We locked eyes several times. She could tell that I liked what she was doing. It takes a lot of guts to dance when nobody else is. I do so all the time, as I love it so much.

The three of them took their drinks and walked away from the bar. As they walked past me, I said to her "I like your energy." "Come join us." She replied. I happily did so.

Without completely ignoring her friends, I spoke to her, and we got on great, and after a few minutes she said to me" You're a very sexy man, but I have a boyfriend that I love very much. I'd love for you to meet my friend J******". I said hello to her, and we, too, got on really well. I took her back to the bar and we talked some more. I told her about myself, and found out that she's an accountant and loves to keep fit, having been a gymnast previously. I was impressed, as even a half-good gymnast is an athletic phenomenon.

We rejoined her friends and talked some more, and I suggested she come over and I make her some nigerian food. She said that would be nice, and we swapped numbers. It was getting to time for the next ferry to leave, so I politely excused myself, but before I did so, pulled her into me and kissed her. "Mmmmm.... I'll be waiting for that phone call...!" She said.

We met up the following week, and got on fantastically. I explained to her that I had a very recent breakup, and that I wasn't ready for a relationship yet. She really appreciated my honesty, and it turned out that she wasn't in the market for a relationship either, but we still enjoyed each others company, so we agreed to date on an infrequent basis, which worked well until her dad became unwell. I offered her any help I could give her, but she said she really needed to be by herself. I gave her all the space she wanted, but let her know that I was there if she needed to talk, or if she wanted to see me again.

About 6 weeks later, she got back in contact, and her dad wasn't as unwell as first feared. It was nice to see her again, and continued to do so for quite a while after.

To tell the rest of the story in detail would involve revealing some very personal information, and I really don't want to do anything to upset her. I have to stress at this point, that she's never been anything but nice to me, and we've never had an argument, or even a minor misunderstanding until now. However, put simply, but still accurately, she went through a very distressing time that I helped her through, and in doing so, I realised how strongly I felt about her, and that I really wanted her to be my girlfriend. I felt ready now. I thought it a good idea to give her some space to get over what she'd just been through, which fit well with me, as I had to go back to London for my nephews birthday. When I got back, I messaged her, and she didn't get back to me, which was highly unusual. Three days later, I got a message from her saying that she couldn't see me anymore, as she was in love with someone else.

I had no real choice but to respect this, but I was crushed. With the vast majority of women that I meet, some things about them make me think 'yes', and some things make me think 'no'. But with her, there's only 'yes'. But she's gone, now.

I love you, J******.

I really do.


The song: http://youtu.be/Zway5olvw-0 (original draft)

https://soundcloud.com/victor-steele/gonna-be-there-sample (finished version)

The words: http://victor-thediary.blogspot.com.au/2014/01/gonna-be-there-lyrics.html

Gonna Be There Lyrics

Words and music by me :)

Gonna Be There


Met you that night it was pure chance
My ship had sailed, then I saw her dance
She said 'come on over, the night is young'
My friend here's a lady, then we'd begun


If there's a chance to see you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there
If there's a chance to hold you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there


We said we weren't ready, so take it slow
Simple and easy's the way to go
Times got too heavy, you stayed away
I'm here if you need me, so that's OK


If there's a chance to see you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there
If there's a chance to hold you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there
If there's a chance to see you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there
If there's a chance to hold you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there
Oo-ooh……..
Oo-ooh……..

It's always been clear you could be the one
I opened my heart just when you were gone


We came back together just like before
I started to feel we could be forevermore
I never counted on someone new
But I've always wanted what's best for you


If there's a chance to see you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there
If there's a chance to hold you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there

If there's a chance to see you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there
If there's a chance to hold you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there

If there's a chance to kiss you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there
If there's a chance to love you again
I'm gonna be, gonna be, gonna be there.




Copyright 2014

The song: http://youtu.be/Zway5olvw-0 (rough draft)

Can't Wait

This one's really simple.

It's about my sister, D'lys back in London. She's a full time singer, which is her dream, after having spent 3 years working in market analysis to our parents great pleasure, but to her misery. She hated it. When she told me she wanted to quit her job and make music full time, I offered to pay half her rent to help her make ends meet. She called me back a month later asking if I was serious about that. I said that I was. She quit her job and put a band together, and I sent her money every month.

She doesn't have the same disposable income as she did in her office job, but she's infinitely happier. 

However, last year, she severed her Achilles tendon while playing netball, which needed surgery, and for her to cancel her performances for several months. She put on a brave face, but I imagine it would have been very hard for her, so I wrote her this:

The song: http://youtu.be/25o0ywNqFCo (original draft).



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Can't Wait Lyrics

Now we've found just who we are
Who'd have thought we'd be so far.
Home with you I still belong.
Never feel like I've been gone.

Can't wait to see 
You here with me.

I want you to live your dream.
I want you to sing with me.
Thinking of you day and night.
I know there will be a time.

That you will be
Right here with me.
You're gonna be
Right here with me. 

Even though you're far away
In my heart, you're here to stay.

Can't wait to see
You here with me.
You're gonna be
Right here with me. 
You will succeed.
I still believe.

Can't wait to see
You here with me.
You're gonna be
Right here with me. 
You will succeed.
I still believe.
If you'd like to be added to my mailing list to get these diary entries sent to you directly, and would like a free download of 2 of my songs, then just enter your name and email address into the form below, and they'll be sent to you instantly :)